Long Time Coming

So, I try to write a blog basically, every night. That being said, I can never get my thoughts togeter enough to feel confident posting anything, so I typically just close the window after I get out my frustrations. This one probably won't be any different than the rest.

I have a lot of things going through my mind. I just feel down. Even my antidepressants aren't helping. I do everything I know to do to keep myself happy or at least stable; I do pilates every day, I eat healthy during the week (weekends off hehe), I take my medication on time every day, and try not to bottle up my emotions. Sure, it makes a little difference, but not enough. I understand that being sad just happens, especially after having a baby, but this is beyond that. Most days, I have zero desire to roll out of bed. I've only done this a couple times, but occasionally I'll just stay in bed all day, only getting up to tend to Beau. I'll feed him, change him, bathe him, but then we both just lay in bed. I just feel like I need something to help me. I don't know what to do. I don't know, it's rough. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Other than the depression, I suppose that things are going alright. Beau is growing like a weed. He's got 2 teeth now and is trying to crawl. It's so crazy how quickly they grow up! I'm thinking now is the time to babyproof the house, which coud be interesting. Blaze is doing well. He's ready to come home and be with Beau and I. We're just as excited to have him hom as he is to be here! Hopefully, he'll be home within the next 2 weeks. :D I'm so excited. Anyway, I'm going to go now....I may actualy post this one.

Shannon